Apologies in advance for the “mass” communication nature of this. I’ll keep my
thoughts and writings authentic and unfiltered like my 6th grade journal entries,
but since various folks wanted to know what I’m doing, why I’m doing it or updates
on the work and what HARRIET is all about I thought I’d use the tools of today’s
society. And for selfish reasons I want to document the journey so when it gets
insane, overwhelming, frustrating, silly, enjoyable, incredible and everything in
between, I’ll have my lil’ musings to keep me grounded (or nudge me along).
“You have cancer, may lose your vision, we’ll use your cheek for skin grafts and let’s not worry about mortality rates right now.”
I’m sure it was said with a little more discretion and empathy, but as I hung up the
office phone with a polite “thank you and you have a nice day too” that’s how I
remember it. I also remember grabbing my wedding photo and a stapler (is that
company theft?) throwing them in my handbag and walking the couple of miles
home in a trance.
That day and over the days that followed, I decided I wanted to live. I wanted to
be present. I wanted to remember my husband’s laugh and how he smelled
(Yes, I would hug and sniff his pillow or sink into his clothes in the closet
crying uncontrollably and sniffing). I wanted to remember people’s smiles and
expressions (sorry if you were one of those people I stared too long at; I was taking a
mental snapshot). I wanted to live with purpose and I wanted my life to count for
Cancer and the prospect of losing my eyesight gave me a lot of clarity.
I had hit what I’m going to coin the CAREER SNOOZE BUTTON. I was CAREER SLEEP
WALKING. Since I’ve made up these phrases I should explain them. Basically, I was
doing a job that I had been doing too long. I loved it (most days), I was very
good at it, it interested me deeply and it allowed me to be philanthropic; but the
reality is -- I was very good at my job. I was too comfortable. I was at the peak
of my performance, but I wasn’t mentally challenged or stimulated. I was too
comfortable and as a result I wasn’t creating value, trying new things nor bringing new
ideas to the team. I was a top-performing sleepwalker. Never a good place to be.
I wanted to be scared, hungry, and scrappy. I was the girl who use to skydive, ride
motorcycles, and traveled to a crazy number of countries, often alone. I had
lived and I wanted to LIVE again, but this time with purpose. It was time to get out of my comfort zone.
Are you career sleepwalking? I'd love to talk about it with you!
- Aug 4, 2017 Solving for My Happiness Aug 4, 2017
- May 12, 2017 My Pipeline! May 12, 2017
- May 4, 2017 A Few Good Reads on Diversity, Investing, and Silicon Valley May 4, 2017
- Dec 23, 2016 Couldn't Have Said it Better Myself Dec 23, 2016
- Nov 10, 2016 Clutching My Pearls Nov 10, 2016
- Oct 28, 2016 Do I Look Fat in This? Oct 28, 2016
- Sep 16, 2016 Cancer + Career Snooze Button = Change Sep 16, 2016